Friday, November 28, 2008

Politically Incorrect Jokes

(comics from: humor)

"Obama motto: "If at first you don't succeed, change the rules."

Have you ever noticed how Obama thinks nothing is impossible as long as somebody else has to pay for it?

There's nothing wrong with the people who voted for Obama that becoming taxpayers won't cure.

Even though Obama doesn't have any experience, we'll get plenty.

It's a funny thing about socialists; give one an inch and the next thing you know he'll be president.

President elect Obama has arranged for his first meeting with foreign leaders from other countries to demonstrate his foreign policy expertise. It's scheduled to run for five minutes.

Obama's staff is preparing for his first press conference as President. They're busy writing the questions.

Q. What will the difference be between President Obama and Karl Marx?

A. Nobody knows.

Q. Candidate Obama has been telling us, “Yes We Can.” What will President Obama tell us?
A. “Yes You Will.”

Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?

A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?

A. He thinks that things go better with coke.

Q. Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?

A. It was ours.

Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?

A. He thought Barry sounded too American.

Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?

A: Barack Obama.

Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?

A. Because it would be racist.

Q. Why will Obama hold a séance once he's in the White House?

A. So that he can thank everybody who voted for him.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'Obama in '08 .' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

Why People Voted for Barack Obama

Q. Why did Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?

A. Because Jimmy didn't want to be the worst President in history.

Q. Why did Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?

A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.

Q. Why did Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?

A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.

Q. Why did Ho Chi Minh vote for Barack Obama?

A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.

Q. Why did Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?

A. Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.

Q. Why did David Letterman vote for Barack Obama?

A. Because he's running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes.

Q. Why did Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?

A. Because she's running out of other crazy things to do.

Q. Why did Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Obama?

A. Brain tumor.

Q. Did Senator Larry Craig vote for Barack Obama?

A. He stalled first.

Q. How did Osama Bin Laden vote for Barack Obama?

A. Absentee ballot.

Q. Why did Bill Ayers vote for Barack Obama?

A. Bill thinks Obama's the bomb.

Q. Why did sharks vote for Barack Obama?

A. Professional courtesy."

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